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Top spouse shares lessons learned

  • Published
  • By Carl Bergquist
  • Air University Public Affairs
MAXWELL AIR FORCE BASE, Ala. --  Air Force Chief of Staff Gen. Norton Schwartz and his wife Suzie helped inaugurate the first Wing Commander Spouses' Seminar by addressing spouses of newly appointed wing and vice wing commanders on March 2.

The purpose of the new course at the Ira C. Eaker Center for Professional Development at Maxwell Air Force Base is to benefit wing leadership by providing commanders' spouses with knowledge of the resources available to them, and preparing them on how to deal with various issues that might arise. This keeps with the spirit of the Year of the Air Force Family by demonstrating the Air Force's commitment to family support.

In opening remarks before his wife's presentation to the group of 18 spouses, General Schwartz said the seminar was representative of programs designed to make spouses a part of the leadership experience.

"The reality in today's Air Force is families. You all know this very well," he told attendees. "It is a team sport, and my message to you is the Air Force is not as healthy a place for people and missions without the participation of spouses. I have to be straight with you, when at war, that safety net is vital."

General Schwartz went on to say spouses should view themselves as role models who help influence people to serve and stay in the Air Force.

"It is about all of us. Everybody counts," he said. "The reality is America needs good people to do this work."

He thanked the spouses, noting that they married into a challenging lifestyle and they, too, serve. "Thank you for your sacrifices ... thank you for all you do."

Mrs. Schwartz began her presentation on a humorous note, explaining she had five slides to present but because she normally doesn't use visual aids, that was making her nervous. "This slide part is the scariest part of my day," she joked with the spouses.

Mrs. Schwartz told attendees that when they are the spouse of a wing commander, they have to consider the needs of the whole base, and they can make a difference.

"Nort [General Schwartz] keeps saying this is a team sport, and what that means is don't miss the opportunity to be a part of the team," she said.

She noted some elements of the role will come more naturally than others, "comfort zones," but noted as a wing commander's spouse, the responsibility stretches across a wider base of people. Therefore, and because we are a nation at war, spouses need to make sure they are familiar with the many support programs within and outside the Air Force such as the Key Spouses Program and Fisher House.

Sharing some of the lessons she has "learned along the way," she recommended the spouses rely on the Airman and Family Readiness Centers; keep good friendships with group commander's spouses; and welcome people into and entertain in your home.

She also reminded them their time is valuable, so make it count.

"As the spouse of a wing commander," she said, "I did no 'tea parties.' When I got the ladies together, they learned something, and I got everyone involved. This is something to think about."

As a humorous reminder that spouses, too, have to be careful about perceptions, Mrs. Schwartz advised the spouses never to drive the commander's official vehicle that is adorned with a white roof.

"Don't ever drive the white top. Don't even think about it," she said. "Don't even back it out of the driveway. If you have to move it, put it in neutral and roll it down the hill."
She concluded by saying spouses might get criticism, but it is best to learn from that criticism.

"You do a lot and do it for free, but people will remember what you do for them," she said.

Teresa Miller is one of the driving forces behind the new week-long ECPD seminars for wing and vice wing commanders' spouses. As wife of Maj. Gen. Stephen Miller, who recently retired as commander of the LeMay Center for Doctrine Development and Education, she has been involved in educating spouses through seminars since her husband was Air War College commandant.

"The spouses in this seminar are hungry for information on how to help, and the hope is that we are creating a forum for that information and helping them develop relationships among themselves for the future," she said.

Mrs. Miller said Maxwell-Gunter was the perfect location for the seminars because program organizers can tap into the expertise that exists at Air University. She said organizers were fortunate with the first seminar because it had a lot of "past-commander spouse experience" at the squadron and group levels.

"However, we are prepared to brief new spouses to accommodate their knowledge, or lack of knowledge, about this subject," she said. "In this group, the fences are down and everyone is secure in sharing their successes and failures. We are also working on a secure Web site called 'Wings of Our Own' that will allow spouses from these seminars to communicate with each other."

On Friday, as the seminar began to wind down, Lt. Col. Paula Flavell, seminar director, described the event as, "a splendid success" and said she was grateful to be part of an effort initiated by Air University and fully supported by Gen. Stephen Lorenz, Air Education and Training Command commander, and his wife Leslie.

"The spouses were totally enthralled with a curriculum that engaged heavily in knowledge and provided an opportunity to network with each other," she said. "To sum it up, the spouses were enchanted with Dr. [Hank] Dasinger from the Barnes Center for Enlisted Education, mesmerized by Mrs. Schwartz, and consumed by the message of Eliza Nesmith, who is the Airman and Family Readiness Center director and point-person for the Year of the Air Force Family."

Colonel Flavell said a tour of the Enlisted Heritage Hall museum at Gunter "meant so much to the spouses" and generated numerous questions about enlisted issues. She also said the seminar allowed spouses to "walk away with so many tools" they will be able to use in their positions as commander's spouses. Colonel Flavell said standing up the Air University Spouses Advisory Team headed by Lynn Peck, spouse of the Air University commander, Lt Gen Allen G. Peck, was another result of the event. She said the team's role has been to provide recommendations on content, speakers and course execution.

Joni Mastin, spouse of Col. Kevin Mastin who will soon become vice commander of the 1st Fighter Wing at Langley AFB, Va., said she was excited about her husband's new job, and what she learned during the seminar gives her a sense of having a chance to make a difference at Langley.

"What I learned is how big a job interfacing with people really is," she said. "The spouse of a commander has a lot of opportunities, and I now have a feeling for how much good I can do for the family side of the Air Force. I think this seminar has helped all of us feel we are a part of the Air Force family."

Ms. Mastin said her first goal at Langley will be to meet people and begin forming relationships. "This is all about people, and I want to find out what I can and can't do to help," she said. "It was fabulous to meet the other ladies here and to have them to bounce things off of. And now, I'm even more impressed than before about how much my husband does in his job. I never really understood that before."

She concluded by saying she was "so grateful" to Mrs. Miller who organized the seminar, as she is a "lady of great energy and personality" and was a "tremendous help" to spouses involved in the seminar.

Angelle Tibbets, spouse of Col. Paul Tibbets IV who will be moving to be the vice commander of 379th Air Expeditionary Wing at a base in Southwest Asia, said her position was a little different because her husband was deploying, but she still "received a lot" from the seminar.

She said she accepted the invitation to the seminar because she wanted to gain all the knowledge she could and be more prepared for what might come up.

"This was just a lot of really good information that will help me stay connected with my husband and his staff while he is deployed," she said. "I want to work ... to help other people who have spouses deployed to the base."

"The fact that seminar organizers are trying to prepare us for our new roles has made me feel at ease and helped me understand how things work," she said. "Even though my husband will be gone, there is still many ways I can support him and his staff."

She said the Air Force is a "family business," and she wants to be able to assist in any way she can. The seminar has given her tools to do that.

"I feel honored to be part of this first seminar, and I'm thankful they [seminar organizers and AU leadership] saw the need for this to help prepare us. In many ways, I feel like they are holding my hand," Mrs. Tibbets said.

Colonel Flavell said the next event will be the week of April 5, and will be followed by seminars in May, June and July, in conjunction with the upcoming Wing Commanders' courses.