HomeNewsArticle Display


Redirecting...

Ben Smith: The fight for life

  • Published
  • By Senior Airman William Blankenship
  • 42nd Air Base Wing
MAXWELL AIR FORCE BASE, Ala— --  Rusty barbwire fencing surrounds the pastures throughout Ben Smith’s small Alabama hometown. Ben longed for an opportunity to place the dirt roads in his rear view mirror, destination success ahead. “Airman Smith,” had a nice ring to it, he thought.

Smith saw the military as his only path to getting an education. He was too small for an athletic scholarship, and his grades were less than academic scholarship standard. What Ben didn’t anticipate was the roller coaster path he was about to encounter.

“Options were limited coming from a middle-class family living in a small southeast Alabama town,” said the former high school football player. “I didn’t want to burden my parents financially. Academically, I was book smart and had pretty good common sense, but I didn’t put forth much effort into grades. I was in honor classes but slept in just about every class and took physical training every semester as a tactic to keep my GPA up.”

Ben went to a Military Entrance Processing Station the summer before his senior year in high school. Two months after graduation, he traded his Bear Bryant hound’s-tooth hat for an airman battle uniform in San Antonio, Texas for basic military training, graduating in September 2010.

“I was going to be in operations intel,” he said. “Life was great, and I felt like I was getting into a boat to sail unknown waters. Getting that job and the opportunity to travel the world were big selling points to me.”

An unexpected pothole was in Ben’s path during technical school, however. He received multiple compliments from instructors, aced most written assignments and had orders overseas to Germany. However, over halfway through with the schooling, he was pulled out of class and was told that he couldn’t be in operations intelligence anymore because his voice wasn’t clear enough.

“I was 18 and didn’t talk much in high school, so I had a minor speech impediment at the time,” said the Dothan native. “I was sort of lost at the time. This wasn’t the plan. My morale and hopes began to fade as I could not provide suggestions that would have suited both my aptitude and the Air Force. Fortunately, I overcame my perceived adversity by scoring 15 to 20 points higher in each category when I retook the (Armed Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) test, giving my overall score a nice boost.”

Ben spun his wheels for 11 months at his intelligence technical school on casual status before career progress could continue. Finally getting a slot in finance technical school, he was ready to move forward with his plans. He raced through the new curriculum, only to breakdown as he neared the finish line, again.

“When I received orders, my next duty assignment was back home,” said the lifelong University of Alabama fan. “Instead of going to Germany with intel, I was destined to go to Maxwell Air Force Base, 90 miles from my hometown. Out of all the military bases there are throughout the world, this Alabama boy was being stationed in Alabama. Roll Tide!”

While Ben was able to unpack his crimson gear, he wasn’t exactly doing the world traveling he had hoped for during his military tenure. Little did he know at the time, being home was probably the best place for him to be during the following years.

“Since I’ve been here, it has been a roller coaster ride filled with extreme highs and lows,” he said. “At one point in time, I felt like I was in quicksand up to my chin, with balls and chains tossed over me pushing me deeper. Looking back, it was God’s plan all along. He wanted me to get stationed here, and he had me exactly where he wanted.”

Smith excelled after arriving to Maxwell in 2011. A base honor guard stand out, tone-setting finance troop, he was routinely recognized for his performance. Unfortunately, this was the quiet before his storm.
Because Ben spent so much time in Texas getting things situated, he was moved from his base dorm residence to an off-base apartment. On day 14 of living off base, he felt the cold barrel of a gun pressed against his temple by multiple assailants who robbed him in his home. During Smith’s walk from his car to his home, a man asked him if he could borrow a lighter. Smith said that he had one inside and would bring it out to him. The men followed him into his apartment to rob him.
“I remember every single detail of that night, and struggled with the initial stages of post-traumatic stress disorder for months to follow,” he said. “You don’t know what that person is going to do. He is there with his finger on the trigger and the weapon is against your skin.”

Narrowly escaping the incident after they tried to put him in his trunk, Ben had to appear in court on a few occasions after the U.S. Marshalls arrested one of the three men.

Battling with the traumatization of the event, Smith moved back on base and hoped to bounce back to normalcy. Days later, he was the victim in a car accident. While no serious injuries occurred, Ben’s Mustang was completely demolished, thanks to a teenage driver’s recklessness. The frustration of mounting adversity in his life began to mount, but he said the support of his family in close proximity was helpful.

“During this time where there were some significant difficulties in my life, it was comforting to be close to family,” he said. “I went home almost every weekend and that time proved to be valuable, as I couldn’t have it back.”

Within six months of his car accident and home invasion, Smith’s grandfather passed away. This was followed by his uncle dying, and capped with the news that his mother had cancer. Devastated, Smith continued to go home when he was able, noticing changes in his mom over time.

“Whether it was a change in complexion, loss of hair, new spots on her skin, loss of voice, or going from walking to being eventually bedridden in hospice care, it hurt,” said Smith. “My heart was broken, and I felt helpless. I wanted so bad to take her pain away and even prayed that God would give me her sickness.”

In January 2014, Ben held his mom’s hand as she faded away, losing her battle with cancer.

“I fought a personal battle for the months after and felt like I was still spiraling out of control,” he said. “My mom was everything to me. She molded me into the person I am today. I had a void in my life without her.”

Losing his first job in the military before ever getting the chance to do it, forgoing his plans for world travel to stay at home at his duty station, family deaths, Ben had enough after his longtime girlfriend broke up with him weeks later.

“The combination of all the heartbreak overcame me,” said Smith. “While tears were rushing down my face, I pointed a 9mm Berretta at my temple, took the safety off and wanted to end it.”
Then, he said, a presence overcame him. He went to bed and hoped nothing else would happen the next day. Tormenting thoughts would not allow him to sleep, however, so he drove to the base at around 3 a.m., parking his car next to the gym and taking off on a run on one of the base’s running trails.

“My speed picked up, and I ran as hard as I could,” he said. “I eventually collapsed to my knees on the trail next to the flight line while looking up at God and crying out to him, asking “Why me, God?”
Smith went to work every day and did his job throughout it all, but he said he felt his personality and demeanor changing. He earned a trail of unfavorable paperwork, which led to a referral enlisted performance report.

“All I needed was help,” he said. “Finally, I got back on the right track with my supervisor’s help and my mentor’s help. I owe everything to them both … my career. By accepting their help and focusing on where I wanted to be, I decided to fight the adversity and work on resilience.”

Since the beginning of 2015, he has been regaining his footing. Smith was handpicked to represent his office during a temporary duty in Pensacola, Florida, for three months.

“This TDY opened my eyes and changed my perspective of the Air Force,” he said. “I graduated from Airman Leadership School and came out of with a sense of accomplishment and received feedback that helped me grow professionally. Eventually, I finally started chipping away at my goal of obtaining a bachelor’s degree and have been awarded my CCAF (Community College of the Air Force) degree.”

With dreams of opening his own fitness facility and writing a book, Smith takes every chance he can to share his story in hope of positively impacting someone else who may be struggling.

“Facing adversity is difficult,” he said. “If I can do what I did by bouncing back after facing my struggles, anyone has the power to do that, as well. The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall. We will all face adversity at some point in our lives, but what will make us stronger or break us is how we handle that adversity. It is okay to bend, but don’t ever break. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. Instead, it’s a sign of courage.”